Looking around, I’m finding great stuff on the Internet. So, why not share the wealth, I wonder? 🙂
Little story update that I promised February 2, 2008
Okay, it’s been a little while, I know, and I’m sorry. I have a lot to do still, but it’s been bugging me. So, if I get this done, hopefully I’ll be able to concentrate! I know I promised to update you on something that may be happening with a certain guy. I wrote about it for a class assignment. This was the very first time we met.
“Yeah,” I said, feeling more uncomfortable by the minute. The numerous overlapping conversations of scores of other University students who were being recognized as “leaders and scholars”—at least, that’s what it said on the invitation—made it very difficult to understand my new acquaintance, girl on the Student Advisory Board member at the other university campus. Not to mention that the foyer of the craftsman-styled home was heavy on wood surfaces, which further amplified the noise. I need to get myself out of here before I make a fool of myself, I thought, and came up with an excuse—I hadn’t tried the desserts yet, and slipped away.
We met over the dessert trays, in the dining room that could only be adequately described as “presidential;” the room was tastefully decorated with dark wood furniture, deep green walls, a beamed low ceiling, thick drapes, and very thick carpeting, which made the room more sound-absorbent. Sweet, quiet relief. I took my time deciding which bite-sized dessert to try first, when somebody spoke.
“Pardon?” I asked, turning around to read his lips.
“Those are delicious,” he repeated, pointing them out to me with a nod of his head.
I took a bite. “Mmm…these taste like high-end Ding Dongs.”
He laughed. “Yeah, they kinda do!”
We introduced ourselves, shaking hands. I was impressed that he wore a suit, in the midst of varying degrees of casualness with the common denominator of jeans. I quickly felt at ease—now I wasn’t the only one who thought it important to dress up! In fact, I felt comfortable enough to ask him “would you speak up please? I’m hard of hearing.”
We then proceeded to talk about anything and everything and nothing for the next hour. We talked about weather. We marveled about President ____’s house, the spiraling wood staircase, the ceilings, the windows, and expressed a desire to be able to explore the house further.
“I love old houses,” I said, sipping the fruit punch because I quickly became very thirsty.
We talked about food, and spent five minutes talking about the hot apple cider they were serving.
“I love apple cider,” he said.
We talked about school, and I admitted that I was homeschooled.
He did a double-take. “You were homeschooled?”
“All the way through high school.”
Activity and people swirled around us as we talked. The sun dipped below the horizon, and the students began to slip away after saying goodbye and thank you to President ___ and his wife. During the first lull in conversation, we looked out the window and realized, Hey, it’s dark! And where’d all the people go? There were probably no more than two or three dozen other loiterers like us. It was time him to board the university-provided shuttle, and my brother was here to give me a ride back home. So we said goodbye, and we both hoped that we would run into each other sometime on campus.
Outside, I looked around at the dusky silhouettes of the trees, outlined by the bright moon, and raised my eyes toward the stars, silently thanking God for Facebook.
Okay, I’ve been doing a lot of research lately, just to satisfy my own curiosity and wonders and worries. I really feel like I don’t know enough of my faith. I’m fairly knowledgeable, but not as much as I should be, I think.
And I ran across this link, and it’s interesting. You know, sometimes I wonder, is Catholicism the one true faith? And so I look at information from all sides, and then my faith is reaffirmed. Anyway, I thought I’d post this link for others to see and read.
Apology and non-apology January 20, 2008
I know I haven’t blogged in a while. I apologize for that. Before I was almost compulsive…I had to blog. Why that changed? I’m not 100% sure. Actually, I am 100% sure. It took me a while to figure out what changed. And then a little while more to examine my true motives for blogging and not blogging.
Okay. I started this blog as a diary, almost. I tried to keep my own diaries, but I felt incredibly self-conscious and stupid. “Dear Diary…etc etc etc”. That very quickly fell out of use, because a) I would have to carry it around with me all the time and b) people are naturally very curious when I’m writing in a journal-type book, with no other textbooks around. Typing on a computer elicits a neutral response. But saving a file or a folder of diary entries? Still felt problematic to me. If anybody found it, I can’t claim plausible deniability. I wanted to disassociate me from myself, as it felt like an attractive idea at the time. I can be myself without having to put on a show all the time.
And it has been helpful. It had helped me to talk things out without ever feeling like I’m burdening anybody with troubles and thoughts that should be mine and thus only my responsibility. Yes, I know, it should still have remained in my mind, my own worries are nothing compared to yours or anybody else’s. And I understand that completely! I really do know that some people have more difficulties than others. (I also know that some people whine more than others. At some point you must just roll up your sleeves and get to work.)
I see my last real post was end of November, when the pressure started increasing and my last short post was December, in the midst of finals. I apologize as I didn’t realize how long it had been. But I also don’t apologize, because I have a fairly good reason for it. Ever since it happened, I’ve been feeling great. No longer do I feel…apologetic, sad, down, under pressure, worried about life in general, etc etc. None of these are right words. I had worried a lot. I generally had been confused. But now that confusion about myself has been replaced with a more lovely confusion 🙂
No, I haven’t mentioned it at all. I was formulating it in my mind, for when I finally did have a chance to sit down and write it out. Then I thought about it, and decided to give this particular bit of news more time. I wasn’t ready to admit it yet. Yes, I’d had a couple of crushes. I think that’s why I talked about it so much. Anybody who showed a bit of niceness was immediately flagged as “possible”, as I felt…I dunno…desperate? It’s a strong word, but I felt some sort of pressure that I should have a boyfriend, that I should get some dating experience or something. I’ve never dated. There, I admit it. Nobody ever asked me out. Don’t know why. (Actually, I may have an inkling, but I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt that they’re not that prejudiced or ignorant. ) I was feeling quite down because I felt nobody would ever want a hard of hearing girlfriend like me. I know I know, stupid thought. Plenty of deaf/hearing couples have been made.
I’m happy now. 🙂 I’ve been happy since December 8th. I’ve known him since Nov. 18th. It is now Jan 20th. Two months of knowing him. Abridged story coming soon. First, some updates:
I got my new headphones! Not the HATIS, they were too expensive…I asked my audiologist and she checked her listserv, and the other kind got better reviews. Here it is…very very much worth it!
I got it in less than a week! And after having it, man, I was addicted. I decided to splurge on an iPod, though I didn’t have very much musical taste or experience right now. Ordered that the second week of Dec, got it in three days, in time for finals week. It was awesome! And quickly, because of said person, I found music that I loved. Not just because I was thinking I was liking him at the time, but because I really did like the music. Got the iPod nano on sale–refurbished kind–and the color I wanted! Blue! Second gen! (I don’t much like the way third gen looked).
Gallaudet. Hmm… I had decided to put the decision on hold. I had time to decide, I thought. Graduate with two degrees in a few years, go to Gally, get two more majors, then masters, then doctorates. But as much as I wanted it to work, to happen, there was always a little gut feeling that this may not be the best thing for me. That’s why I decided to put it on hold.
Now, I think I will just go right into my masters, although which one, I’m not 100% sure yet. Library science for sure, eventually. But whether to get an English assistantship that pays for all of college plus a stipend for an English masters first or not…I’m just not sure. It depends on how things go…:) Good things, don’t worry 😀 Then a doctorates in something else. Maybe. Like I said, it depends on how things go 😉
Hmm…was there anything else? Oh well, I’m sure it’ll come to me. My next post will be about said reason why I fell out of touch for so long. 🙂
Expensive lesson January 18, 2008
Yep. Well, it’s been a little while since I’ve written about my foray into CrMS. I was sick of taking the pill, sick of the weight gain, and sick of my irregular cycles. So…after research I had decided to try them out, because “everybody said” that it’s affordable and natural and that “you’d be surprised at how many college students” use this system too, though they’re not active. So, I had researched, and it seemed on surface to be affordable.
Got a preliminary bill from the insurance about a month ago. Over $100 due. It was just a statement, I should say, not a bill. Got the actual bill from PPVI. 75 is due. Can you believe the new patient fee is $150? Insurance doesn’t pay for it at all. Insurance doesn’t usually pay for “fertility” stuff as this, even though it may be crucial to our health, as the PPVI people were saying it was.
They were all very, very nice. But I wouldn’t advise college women to do it, unless they were rich or had no money worries at all. I’m going to just grin and bear it…so far it’s been working all right. I lost about 10 lbs so far, and kept it off (with fluctuation, but nothing too scarily high like before).
So, yeah, I’m not doing anything anymore. I’m sick of spending money and doctor visits and such just for them to say “wait and see” “wait until you have a baby, then it’ll be normal” and stuff like that.
Learn from me. Be careful before you decide to do this. It’s worth it if you must have some sense of control over your cycles, yet you want to be off the pill. But it’s not worth the money. You’ll survive.
(Disclaimer here: this is in no way meant to be a dr advice or anything like that, so I won’t get sued, so don’t go blaming me for your problems, this is all mine and my decision only.)
I’m sorry I dropped out of the blog scene December 20, 2007
It was finals week, and some good things have been happening to me as well, but I promise I will write as soon as I get more time! I will catch people up on everything 🙂
Thanks for being so patient!
Okay, for you deaf music fans, I have a question for you November 26, 2007
I’m loving some of the music I’ve been finding lately, and I had been playing them in my car. The only problem is that I can’t read the lyrics while I’m driving. While I love the music for the most part, it makes far more sense if I know the lyrics too. So, I had been listening to it at home, with YouTube videos and the lyrics in separate browser windows side by side, but I can’t exactly turn it up as loud as I want.
I’m thinking about splurging, then, on some sort of listening device. iPod maybe, or something similar. Even a CD player is an option. With Christmas and my birthday coming up, I’ll have some extra money to put towards it, so I’m guessing on spending about 100 dollars. Is that a reasonble price? What sort of gadget do you suggest I’d get?
Now here’s the tricky part. I don’t know how to get those earbuds to stay on my microphones, and I play music kinda loudly, and I’m not sure how to tell if I’m “treating” the world to my music or not. So, what sort of technical tips and tricks might you have for a person wearing hearing aids to use? Last time I used one of those “muffler” type earphones, not only did I feel stupid, it caused my hearing aids to feedback. So, something a bit more discreet would be appreciated, but I’m open to whatever suggestions you might have. I don’t know any other hard of hearing person who has a bte hearing aids, the one student I know has an in the ear aid, so earbuds are a more viable option for her.
Perhaps I can take out my hearing aid and crank the volume up high, but I find I get a fuller picture with both the hearing aid and the cochlear implant.
I’d love to try to listen to music while exercising, but I’m also willing to look for something to plug into my computer and listen to it that way in the library or something.
Oh, btw, I’m loving Chris Tomlin at the moment. 🙂