It takes me a while to wake up some days, while other mornings I could have had 5 hours of sleep the previous night, and yet I can be chipper all day long. It varies greatly.
Today was one of those kinds of slow-to-wake-up days. Technically, I was awake, but my mind was still processing reality at the same speed as my dreams. I drove to school on auto-pilot. You know how your mind suddenly wakes up for a second, and briefly you wonder how you got there? I had the heat on in my car, and then just as I turned into the school’s main drive I felt cold. Then I woke up and realized that my heater was off. For the life of me I couldn’t remember turning it off.
One of those days. I had also remembered to print off my English paper due today, but I had zoned out and not remembered to put it in my backpack. So when I got to the rec center for my Self Defense classes, I nipped upstairs to the computer lab. It was closed. I had to stare at my watch for a few seconds before I figured out what time it was and what time it opened. So I walked back down to the first floor, seriously debating whether it was one of my dreams, because, you know, my dreams are really realistic, and life seemed like one big fantasy lately.
Then I slipped on the stairs, and my brain registered it. Ah, I’m slipping. Cool. The next second I was doing the splits at the bottom of the stairs, and I thought Ah, I fell down. Wait a minute. I fell down? I slipped on the stairs! Even the pain felt dreamlike.
A similar thing happened last Tuesday. I was driving to school, music was playing (I believe it was the Across the Universe soundtrack) and it was very foggy. Then the truck in front of me drove onto the sidewalk. It felt very remincient of one of my dreams. I saw it, but I didn’t register it. Ah, a truck is pulling onto the sidewalk. It wasn’t until I had passed it that I realized, Wait a minute, trucks don’t go on sidewalks!
Even now, as I write this in the library, people are talking, I smell the cookies in the cafe, I see and feel all these things, and yet they don’t seem real. I don’t mind this feeling, it’s a nice break from ultra-reality, where life and the future scares me. Right now, I’m in a “Let it Be” mood. A “Dear Prudence”. Life feels like the “Across the Universe” movie. And I sorta like it 🙂
Three more weeks of school, plus finals week. Four more weeks. One more month. I can survive 🙂 The way things are, it’ll be Christmas and I’ll wonder how I got here.