I hadn’t gotten around to writing another blog. I should have, I know. I also shouldn’t have had kettle corn after getting my wisdom teeth pulled…so there. If it helps any, I wrote many blogs…in my head. I just never had a chance to write them down. This was one of my mentally written blogs, but now it’s getting written down…
Writing is harder work than I’d like it to be. It’s not necessarily the writing that’s hard, it’s that life gets in the way. No wonder many writers were “loners”. They have to be in order to write! Then there’s those super-organized who manage to dash off another book in between appointments.
show offs. I was writing on one book (that’s been in-process for four years), until I decided I’d have to axe some characters. They just weren’t adding anything to the story. Plus, if I didn’t have that older brother, then the friend (who is the hopeful boyfried–sucessfully in the end) will have a better reason to be brother to this girl’s younger siblings. His acts of kindness to her siblings will win her over, though she’s in denial for much of the book. But this process of axeing characters will take time, and I’m on a fence right now. Should I write on, omitting the characters, finishing the book before I go back and revise? Or should I go back and revise, then finish the book? I am so close! About 3/4 of the way done…that’s why this decision is hard for me.
So, as a procrastination method, I began another story. I really liked it for a while because I gave it an unique spin. But now, (it’s a fantasy), I’m wondering, is it unique enough to sell? There’s a ton of fantasy stories out there, is it possible that every permutation have been worn out and used up? Is the world quite like the Library of Babel yet, or is there still some hope for asprirng writers like me? Perhaps it’s like the pre-wedding jitters, a few years too early. I haven’t even finished the book yet, and I’m worried about how it’ll sell? I’ll probably get a lot of rejection letters, defeating the point. And yet that’s what I want to know. I want to know if it’ll be “worth it” before I even write it, an impossible wish, yes I know.
We ought to just write for ourselves, and if they just happen to sell, then that’s our luck! But I wish I could have a career of writing, not needing a “day job” to support my dream job. That’s where my jitters are coming from. I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. After all, I’m still a freshman writer. Soon to be sophomore. I should write for myself, but here I am, writing for myself, and yet you all are reading this. There’s a bit of an ego in all of us, wanting an audience, wanting to think we’re somehow famous, somehow worth this life that we’re living right now. Blogging is satisfying my need for readers, while remaining anonymous. And it’s like a public diary, where no-one will ever guess who exactly you are, because, unlike a public school’s limited population, there’s bound to be a thousand more like me in the United States, and tens of thousands of people similar to me in the world.
I should work on my two stories now. Or I might start a third one. 🙂 See you at my book signings someday, I hope 🙂